Sweeney Todd

Before I get started on Christmassy type deals, I need to do my LIKES AND DISLIKES OF SWEENEY TODD, MOTHERFUCKERS.

SPOLIERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

BEWARE.


Things that I Did Not Like:

-Split Throats-

My own personal squick, nothing about the movie in particular. Blood I don't mind, but seeing the actual layers of flesh separated at the neck freak me out a bit. But there's really nothing to be done about that. I just have to get over that one. XD


-Untied Ends-

I don't know if we're supposed to assume that Anthony and Johanna went off on their merry way and lived happily ever after, as the movie seemed to leave them behind. I would have liked just a little bit of mention as to what happened to them. They made such a big deal about their escape and then... nothing. Even if it was just one short scene at the end of the credits or something. Untied ends bother me a bit.


And... that's it. o_____________O



Things That I Did Like:

-Johnny, Johnny, You Lovely Man-

I AM SO FUCKING GAY FOR YOU, SIR. Seriously. I went into this movie knowing that Johnny Depp has long been afraid of singing and dancing in movies and that (so he says) he will never do it again. I knew he only did this for Burton's sake, and that I don't always like how Burton presents his musical numbers (I know this was a known musical before, but well... Tim's never been one for doing things as they ought to be done).

HOWEVER, I AM SO GLAD JOHNNY SANG. SO GLAD. DOWNLOADED THE SOUNDTRACK TO LISTEN TO HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN.

Also, his acting was superb, as always. Psychotic and mad, courtly and calm, all fantastic.


-Alan Rickman-

HOLY SHIT, SIR, I DID NOT KNOW YOU COULD SING SO WONDERFULLY AS WELL.

8D

I'M SO FUCKING GAY. Seriously. I was about to rape the entire theater in a fit of joy during his duet with Johnny. GUH, I SAY.

Also, lovely acting and I do so love him as a perverted older gentleman. I do indeed. He also has quite a lovely neck, which I did not know. And stubble on that man is a grand thing.

8D


-Blood and Gore-

I'm usually not one to enjoy blood and gore for it's own sake, but the animation at the beginning of the film was so fake and the blood used for the bodies themselves was so wonderfully fabricated (blood fountain! Or in Johnny's case, blood waterfall!) that I couldn't help but laugh at each murder.

Also, ground up human flesh looks a lot like the surface mapping for swamps and mud, only reddish. *cough nerd cough* XD


-Costume and Design-

Oh yes, indeed. 19th Century has always been one of my favourites, and Burton did well with it. Especially his girl's clothing designs (Helena whateverherface?). She should always dress like that. Yes indeed. Gorgeous she is in a good corset and black lace.

But anyway, yes. Fantastic coats and hats abound. And Alan Rickman's gold pants made me squee in my gay little soul.


-Unexpected Cast Memebers-

Peter Pettigrew and the gay Frenchman from Talladega Nights? What? AWESOME. XD


-Cannibalism-

I do so love it when human beings eat each other without knowing. I'm terrible. 8D


-Razor Sharp Skill-

The design of Mr. Todd's lovely friends was exquisite. One day I will acquire a replica, because the ornamentation on those beauties is truly magnificent.


Overall, fantastic musical. But ye must remember that it is a musical and musicals usually don't have anything complicated in plot, so if you're expecting that, boo on you. But it is a good time indeed for the gay and easily amused. XD





SPOILERS OVER



SO YEAH. Christmas has gone a lot better than I was thinking it would last night. I was, of course, woken early this morning for the opening of our pre-church gifts. I received the Heavy Metal shirt and the e shirt from ThinkGeek, a Rebel Alliance insignia belt buckle, and AN INCREDIBLY AMAZING BOOK. The Star Wars Vault by Stephen Sansweet and Peter Vilmur. Filled with knowledge about the production of and reaction to all six Star Wars movies, with such goodies as orignal ILM letter heads, 1977 Star Wars stamps, Japanese Star Wars Ewoks on Ice tickets from the early 80s, and other such wonderful things. THIS BOOK WEIGHS THREE TIMES AS MUCH AS MY FAT CAT. IT IS ABSOLUTELY STUFF WITH AWESOME. I browsed through it before church, but I intend to read it fully soon.

Church happened. It wasn't nearly as joyous as past years and we sang some weird songs that weren't Christmas carols which was weird. But whatever. It went quickly enough.

Then we visited grandpa. Gave him an ASSLOAD of DVDs. XD AND HE DIDN'T CRY AND BE CREEPY HUZZAH. He was a pretty happy fellow today because everyone was quite cheerful at the nursing home. And grandpa picked out some nice warm mitten-gloves (the fingerless to mitten variety)for all of us. Then we left, as we were all hungry and anxious to return to our gift opening.

Got home, changed, and opened the rest of our gifts. I received on one Lego set, which is good because I don't have room for more, and it was only a small At-ST, which is easy enough to find a place from. I was quite pleased with it. I received the books to the Dragonlance series that I borrowed from Justin (I will return those), another Dragonlance book called Dragons of Time, and Terry Pratchett's Interesting Times.

I have a new camera. Still of the Kodak variety, but much more advanced that my old piece of crap, with new settings and a 7.1 megapixel resolution. To go with it, I got a little camera case/bag/thing and a 1GB memory stick. 8D

I got new canvases and some more small soft brushes. New Star Wars calendar, as usual, and some new socks. The #000000 shirt from ThinkGeek (NERD XD). Beautiful Katamari, which I am quite excited about playing tonight because I am never sleeping again. An small assortment of cookies and chocolates. Fancy gay hand lotion because me mum is weird and buys me that for Christmas every year. XD

Gabbers bought me some tea, Pickleface bought me some incense, and Stovetop bought me a dragon print and gave me a bunch of Bleach and Magic The Gathering cards based on characters (Bleach; Kon and Tatsuki XD) and artwork (Magic; landscapes mostly).

And then me mum did two major group gifts this year. The first was four of those music toothbrushes. Star Wars ones. We spent a good ten minutes hanging out and listening to our toothbrushes like dorks. XD

The second was Guitar Hero III. 8DDDDDDDDDDDDD

None of us are ever sleeping again. XD

I think I got all of it. I can't remember anything else, anyway. XD

We spent the rest of the day playing and eating and teasing the Fatty with cat treats.

The pets always get special treats for Christmas, and the Fatty, being a seasoned forager, knows exactly what all those wrapped boxes mean. AND he's also well-behaved enough to know that his treats are in a stocking, not a box, so he doesn't touch any of the presents. He's always the first one up Christmas morning, sitting by the wood-stove (where we hang our stockings) and looking the most eager out of all of us. We then tease him for the rest of the day.

Chicken hasn't figured it out yet. He was a bit cranky that we were all clambering around his sleeping places. XD

I'm so ready for a fucking nap. XD

The Golden Compass Movie

I received a mystery gift in the mail? It is an amazing little notebook, but I do not know who sent it.

SO. The Golden Compass was released yesterday. As dutiful nerds, we fooligans made the trip to go see. Of course, I must do my movie review of silliness.


Things I Did Not Like:


LIE-ra

Bleh. I really do not like the pronunciation that they used for Lyra. I've always heard the constellation for which she is named pronounced "LEE-ra." I think it's a prettier name anyway, which is fun in a way that is contradictory to her warrior-like nature (especially as the film portrayed her). I also think it fits better with her last name, Belacqua. The two names flow more smoothly together, especially since they say both names more often than not.

Pantalaimon's Voice

It was annoying. That was really it. He just annoyed me.

Plot Arrangement

It bothered me that the usurping of the false bear king came before the rescue of the children from the Gobblers. I'm not sure why it did, as it worked perfectly well in the film, but it did bother me.

Lack of Gyptian Rituals and Cultural References

One thing that I really liked about the book was the Gyptian culture. Part gypsy, part nomad, part pirate... they are fascinating. Especially, their gathering rituals, which were not really presented at all during the film. Also, there wasn't really any mention at all of diet or gyptian behaviour. It would have been such a simple thing to add to the movie, especially because it was quite short, and it really would have added a lot to the movie's protrayal of the Gyptian people.

The Carriage

The image projector, I expected to be a bit steampunky and mystical. The alethiometer, I expected to be a bit mystical. The gyptian ships and Scoresby's flying contraption, I expected to be altered and more interesting looking. And these things were different from what we would typically think of, but they weren't extravagant and out of place. But Mrs. Coulter's ridiculous carriage in the dirty streets of London and looking NOTHING like any of the other vehicles in the movie bothered me immensely. I would not have minded an altered, motorized carriage, but the way it was altered was impractical and unnecessary and looked quite stupid in relation to its surroundings.

I hope that fucker was stolen and dismantled by dock workers or something.

The Exaggesterium

The Magisterium, in the book, was not a major antagonistic force. It was present, as it was the dominant group out of the collection that made up the government, but it was opressive. It wasn't demanding. It was just present. The major antagonistic force was the General Oblation Board and Coulter. The exaggeration of the Magisterium was an unnecessary tap into American dislike of controlling governments. It felt like a midrash (Coffey... why did you do this to me? XD) of the dictatorship of communist Russia. I rather liked the way the government in the book was not, in itself, horrible, but people in certain positions of power, who could control boards and aspects of the government, were the things that needed to be eradicated.

Also, making up a character to support the kind of insidious control is just stupid.

Too Much Dust

I found it a bit annoying that every time Lyra used the alethiometer, they had to do a Dust magic illustrative thing. Every time. Some of the time, I liked it, but at other times it was too much and distracting.

Speedy

The movie went by INCREDIBLY FAST. It was very weird, considering how slow moving the book was. The book had a lot of waiting and a lot of explanation while traveling, but the movie never stopped to take a breath. It was a bit alarming.

Witches, What?

They rearranged the influence of the witches into some kind of weird Deus Ex Machina thing. They weren't really real characters, but like the eagles at the end of LotR. They mention them, and you might see one, but then they come and save everyone in the end.




Things I Did Like:

Iorek

HE WAS THE ONLY ANIMAL THING THAT I LIKED IN THAT BOOK AND HE WAS JUST HOW I IMAGINED HIM TO BE. ALSO, I LOVES IAN MCKELLEN LIKE SOME KIND OF FAGGOT. 8D

Mark Twain

Holy crap. Scoresby was pretty dang awesome in the book, BUT HE WAS PLAYED BY MARK TWAIN, I SWEAR. He made me so happy in my soul. Seriously. Every time he showed up to save the day, I was like MARK TWAIN HELL YEAH.

Coulter

I was doubting the casting choice for Mrs. Coulter, as I have not particularly liked Nicole Kidman in other things, but she did spectacularly well. Seriously. I couldn't believe how awesome she was.

Bear Punch

Even though they changed Iofur's name to something else, he still fought Iorek and they actually showed Iorek tearing Iofur's jaw off. 8D FUCK YEAH HARDCORE.

Costume Design

Pretty fucking awesome. Especially the gyptians. I loved their clothing. 8D



.... yeah. Overall, pretty awesome times. 8D